Argonauts & the golden fleece -The adventure story

 Imagine a group of superheroes, each with their own special power, traveling around on wild, improbable adventures. 

There is a  guy who can fly, another with super strength and yet another fellow with a secret, unbeatable weapon. 

And of course there is also the captain of the team, usually an “all around good guy” who’s almost an everyman… if it wasn’t for his quick-witted thinking and problem solving.

This is the Argonauts, a fantastic ancient Greek gang, complete with a cool name and trusty boat to speed them on their way.

The main man leading the group is Jason.

 In his cadre of killers are famous myth makers such as the Boreads (sons of Boreas, the North Wind) who could fly, Heracles, Philoctetes, Peleus, Telamon, Orpheus, Castor and Pollux, Atalanta, and Euphemus.

Their mission? To help Jason take his rightful place as king. 

To accomplish this quest, however, the band of heroes must fetch the golden fleece…. which is hung from a tree in the grove of the Colchian Ares, guarded night and day by a dragon that never sleeps.

It began, like many great stories, with a power struggle.

 Not pleased at being second to the throne, Pelias, killed his half-brother and rightful king, Aeson. 

Not only that, Pelias murdered all of Aeson’s descendents to get rid of his competition.

Aeson's wife Alcimede I had a newborn son named Jason whom she saved from Pelias by having female attendants cluster around the infant and cry as if he were still-born.

 Fearing that Pelias would eventually notice and kill her son, Alcimede sent him away to be looked after by the centaur Chiron.

Pelias, fearing that his ill-gotten kingship might be challenged, consulted an oracle, who warned him to beware of a man wearing only one sandal.

One day Pelias decided to throw a few games in honor of his alleged father, the god Poseidon. 

This was the perfect opportunity for Jason to visit.

 

On the way, he crossed a river to help an old woman (who, fantastically enough, was the goddess Hera) and he lost his shoe. 

When Jason was announced as the man with one sandal, the fearful uncle knew the time had come. 

Pelias could not kill his nephew, however, in front of all the gathered kings and spectators, so he sent Jason on a misson, one he thought was impossible to accomplish…

He told Jason this: “To take my throne, which you shall, you must go on a quest to find the Golden Fleece.” Jason happily accepted.

It started with a sheep.

The story goes that long ago, two orphaned Greek kids called Helle and Phrixus were accused of selling bad yogurt and rotten goat's cheese in a street market in Thessaly. 

Condemned to death by their neighbours, Zeus took pity on the poor kids and sent in a flying sheep called Dolly to take them away from danger.

However, as Dolly flew over the Aegean, Helle slipped off and dropped into the sea.

 Phrixus urged Dolly to go back but the stubborn animal said that wasn't her task and that she was on a tight flying schedule. 

When they finally found dry land, Phrixus blamed Dolly for abandoning his sister to drown and promptly slaughtered the unfortunate animal. 

He then offered Dolly up as mutton kebabs to the local ruler King Ouzo as a bribe to stay.

When the smell of roasted Dolly reached Mount Olympus, an angry Zeus threw a thunderbolt at Phrixus, frying the ungrateful boy on the spot. 

The god spared Ouzo and then as an apology, sprinkled god dust on Dolly's discarded skin and renamed it 'The Golden Fleece'. 

It was supposed to have magical powers about healing, curing spots etc but also had the power to encourage people to gamble. 

Taking advantage of the fame the fleece already had, King Ouzo built a full gaming and leisure business complex around the sheepskin to lure gamblers and tourists. 

Zeus considered this to be in bad taste and invited a dragon to move in and look after The Golden Fleece.

 Ouzo repented of his earlier exploitation of Zeus's gift and over time the exact location of Dolly's skin was lost but the memory of its powers remained.

Moving the legend along a few generations, we come to Jason of Thessaly. 

News that Jason was recruiting for his voyage soon got plenty of volunteers clamouring to join the ship.

 Trying to limit the crew to 50, amongst those signing with their mark to go Fleece Hunting were Hercules, Aesop, Sysop, Socrates and two sets of twins: The Bollox Brothers Castor and Oyl and their rivals Linux and Psion.

Jason, the rightful king of Iolcos, and his Greek gang of half gods and magical men, made numerous bad decisions on their quest for the golden fleece, spurned on by lust, ignorance and pride. 

They also completed their fantastic mission while vanquishing monsters, employing quick wittedness as well as making important friends. 

The result is an amazing adventure full of mishaps, apologies and the thing which all Greek heros seem to seek – glory.

After Jason banded together the team, named the Argonauts after their ship, The Argo, they set sail for Lemnos.

 This small island was notorious for its foul-smelling women. 

The ladies foolishly incurred Aphrodite’s wrath and were punished by an odious odor, which had their men running to the arms of the mainland concubines. 

Enraged, the Lemnos women murdered the island’s males in their sleep, except for the king who was put to sea in a chest.

 It was then just females, who were ruled by the King’s daughter, Hypsipyle… until Jason and the Argonauts landed.

Finding the island free of competition, the ‘glorious’ group had their way with the inhabitants… all of them. 

Jason, himself, fathered twins with the ruler, Hypsipyle. 

All this mingling lead to a new “race” called Minyae.

 Eventually the Argonauts were pressured to leave by Heracles, usually the epitome of a philandering fellow, who was disgusted by the sailors’ antics at port.

This time the heroic team set anchor in the land of Doliones, ruled by the gracious king Cyzicus. 

After enjoying royal treatment, Jason was gifted with important information about the land beyond Bear Mountain. 

Unfortunately, some crucial details were conspicuously absent.

 The region had giants. Giants, wrapped in leather one piece garment, who each miraculously possessed six arms.

While the Argonauts were doing their usual and necessary forging, the earthborn gargantuas made a break for the ship, which was guarded by only a few men. 

Jason’s team, however, had the mythical Heracles, who managed to kill almost all of them before the leader returned.

 Together they killed the rest of the giants and set sail again.

Now the Argonauts were back on the seas, off towards their next destination. 

Then fate swirled her wand and the Greek group of superheroes lost their way.

 Muddled and confused, they finally arrived on land late at night and were mistaken as enemies… by their friends the Doliones.

 A battle ensued in which the Argonauts emerged victorious, although not without killing their previously kind host, King Cyzicus.

When the dust settled, and the sun rose, the Argonauts realised their horrendous mistake. 

Sadly, they held a funeral and cast out to sea once more… this time to Thrace…

This time the group, named the Argonauts after their speedy boat, land in Thrace, at the court of Phineus of Salmydessus.

 Due to his keen ability of prophecy and his tendency to reveal too much, the poor King Phineus had incurred the disfavor of Zeus. 

The God of the Gods responded by blinding the foreseeing royal and placing him on an island in front of a buffet of food. 

But with his twisted ways, Zeus also sent Harpies, or mythological winged spirits, to steal Phineus’ food everyday.

When Jason chanced on the feeble king, he took pity on him and killed the Harpies. 

As thanks for this good deed, Phineus revealed the next set of clues for Jason: the location of Colchis, where Jason would find the elusive Golden fleece, as well as how to pass the Symplegades, or The Clashing Rocks.

This passage was surrounded by huge cliffs which would crash together randomly, making the journey incredibly dangerous, if not impossible. However, it was the only way to get to Colchis.

Following Phineus’ advice, Jason released a dove upon arrival.

 He was informed that if the dove makes it, they should row with all their might. 

By the  way  this dove is Columba  constellation. 

If their feathered friend dies, however, the Argonauts were doomed. 

Fortunately the brave bird only lost a few tail feathers and so Jason and his team proceeded with all their strength.

 They passed, with minor damage to the extreme stern of their ship. 

From that moment onwards, the clashing rocks stopped clashing.

Finally Jason arrived in Colchis, which is on the modern day Black Sea coast of Georgia. 

The Golden Fleece was so close… and yet still far away.

 The precious item was owned by the King of Colchis, King Aeetes.

 He promised to give Jason his quest’s goal, but only if he could perform three, seemingly impossible tasks. 

Jason was in despair, as it involved fire, mythical warriors and of course, a dragon.

But here the deities that be stepped in.

 Queen of the Gods, Hera, convinced Aphrodite and her son, Eros, to ensure that Jason had help, in the form of King Aeetes’ daughter, Medea. 

With cupid’s arrow, she fell in love with our hero and so was able to aid him in each of the potentially insurmountable tasks.

Jason’s first duty was to plow a field with the Khalkotauroi, or fire breathing oxen, which Jason himself had to yoke. 

Medea fulfilled her role nicely by providing Jason with an ointment that made him fireproof and so he was able to combat the oxen’s flames.

His second assignment required that he sow the teeth of a dragon into a field. 

This might seem easy enough, except that the teeth sprouted into an army of warriors or spartoi.

 Fortunately Medea already had insider knowledge – these spartoi were not particularly intelligent. 

And so she advised Jason to throw a rock into the group of fighters, who promptly attacked and killed each other, as they did not perceive from where the rock had come.

Finally, his last labour was in front of him. 

He had to combat a large, fierce, sleepless dragon which was charged with guarding the sacred golden fleece itself. 

Once again, Medea came to the rescue. 

She concocted a potion from distilled herbs which put the beast to rest, enabling Jason to thieve the fleece. 

The quest had been achieved!

However, they still needed to leave Colchis…

As they departed, Jason and Medea were chased down by her father, King Aeetes. 

It is here that Medea does the most extreme, seemingly horrendous, thing in her love and devotion for Jason.

 She kills her own brother and spreads his remains into the sea… forcing her father to collect what’s left of his son and abandon the pursuit.

Jason and Medea had finally escaped with the fleece.

The Argo was soon close to home but had to make it past the notorious island where the Sirens lived. 

These strange women with long fish tails and pert breasts were noted for their songs. 

Passing sailors would fling themselves off ships and attempt to swim away further from the noise but few vessels had ever sailed away without losing many crew members who would fall into a stupor and then crash their ships on the jagged rocks all around. 

Jason's solution was to hook up Orpheus's lyre to the Argo's sound system which literally blew the sirens off the island before they could open their mouths.

King Pelias saw the Argo drop anchor and the crew dancing around with the famous Golden Fleece. 

So Jason had found it and would be expecting a reward.

 Pelias was taken by his first sight of Medea in her strange un-Greek dress and hair styling.

 But Pelias had been feeling very old and feeble of late and was now afraid that Jason would organise a palace revolution and stick his head on a pole. 

Medea said she had just the thing for rejuvenating old flesh and told Pelias's daughters that back where she came from, the children would cut and boil their parents bodies to make them younger.

 She said it 'was easy-peasy' and gave the women her recipe.

Pelias was unaware of what was going on until he was surprised in his bath and had his throat cut by his dimwit daughters. 

When they fetched Medea to ask what would happen next, the exotic foreigner said er...I have forgotten the rest of it... 

When it was learnt that Pelias was dead and it had been Medea's fault, the people of Thessaly refused to have Jason as their next king and told him to leave. 

The Argonauts were told to piss off too and be heroic elsewhere. 

As for the Golden Fleece, it was said to have been buried, or burnt..or turned into a hearth rug.. or tossed into the sea where all the fake gold was said to have been seen to float off.

Jason dumps Medea and loses all his friends.

Fleeceless and friendless, Jason and Medea arrived in Corinth. 

Medea soon got a job at the local temple but Jason had no solid plans. 

He did some work in the theatre, sang a few songs and dyed his hair blond. 

He also fell for a skinny singer called Kylie of Kookaburra and promised her he would go on a new adventure. 

He wasn't sure but asked what she thought of 'Jason and the Astronauts' or 'Jason and the Juggernauts'. 

Medea soon found out that Jason was being unfaithful and so she cursed Kylie's career and made his hair fall out. 

Jason told Medea it was all over and she left him.

 But when Jason then tried to look for his new love, Kylie had gone far away, to a land Down Under with the King of Inxs.

Jason returned to Thessaly, hoping that as he was now a bachelor again and no longer associated with Medea that the people would welcome him.

But no one wanted to have much to do with the fallen boy wonder and he was reduced living on his old ship, the Argo. 

Jason did turn it into to a floating nightclub but the vessel stank of old sailor sweat and other unpleasant smells so no one came.

When Jason tried to get the party by stamping on the dance floor, the rotten timbers gave way and dumped him into the sea where he drowned.

Oh!! What a great adventure!!

Next time we'll see the Indian myth about this  constellation. 

Till then goodbye. 

Keep commenting...